My Eyes Will Never Recover!
by brodie-wan
Summary: Qui-Gon is infected with troubling parasite. Obi-Wan looks on.


**My Eyes Will Never Recover!  
Author: brodie-wan  
Genre: humor, light angst  
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon  
Summary: Qui-Gon is infected with troubling parasite. Obi-Wan looks on.  
Disclaimer: This is all George's jungle.  
Author Note: I've not written a longer vig featuring these two in some time. I hope I'm not too rusty. Enjoy!**

It had only been six months since Obi-Wan had become Qui-Gon's apprentice. Every experience was an opportunity to learn more about his New Master. But, so soon after their pairing, he was not prepared for the sight playing out before him.

He had been told by the Creche Master that Qui-Gonn Jinn was a thoughtful, relaxed, easy going, determined, sometimes challenging Jedi. He did not expect the see his Master wiggling, jiggling, and trying to wriggle free of his robes and underclothing.

In fact, when the pale olive skin of Qui-Gon's arms was exposed, Obi-Wan covered his eyes. Very seldom had he seen as much…weirdness.

"Are you alright, Master?" Obi-Wan asked from behind the kitchen counter. Qui-Gon's ghastly jig continued as his tunic hit the floor. Obi-Wan could not help but notice the myriad red spots which speckled his Master's torso.

"Do I look alright to you, Young One?" Qui-Gon responded, feverishly scratching at his chest. Red streaks caused by his finger nails appeared quickly.

"No, Master," the padawan replied, calmly. "You appear to be experiencing some kind of infection."

"V-very observant, Padawan," Qui-Gon said with a shaky voice. The tall Jedi master began running in place even as he crossed his arms to scratch his opposite arms. "Do you think you could contact he Healer's Ward?"

"Why are you hopping around like that, Master?" Obi-Wan asked with genuine curiosity.

"If you must know, my feet as itching as well as the rest of me. The longer they make contact with the carpet, the more they itch. I'm trying to keep them off the floor as best I can."

"You look silly, Master," Obi-Wan commented matter of fact.

Gui-Gon grimaced as spots began appearing on his face. "Such a clever child. CALL THE HEALER'S WARD!"

Obi-Wan was unperturbed by his Master's outburst and decided to offer a alternative solution.

"Perhaps, we should just go down there, instead wasting time with a call, Master?" he offered.

"Listen to me closely, Padawan," Qui-Gon growled. "My entire body is being attacked by some kind of infection or parasite or who knows what. I am growing more and more irritated with every bump that appears, every itch that follows, and every scratch I'm forced to make. If you do not comm. the healers right now, I'll be forced to give you a great big hug. In doing so, I'll be sharing my present affliction with you. Understand?"

Obi-Wan's previously flippant attitude disappeared immediately. "You would do that Master?"

Qui-Gon emitted a sound something like the squeal of a Mynock as he continued hopping and scratching. Wearing only his pants, he resembled a primitive tribal warrior dancing around a fire before going into battles.

Suddenly, the long haired warrior started fumbling with the tie string which held up his pants. Obi-Wan's eyes went wide.

"Master! No!" Obi-Wan darted from the kitchen, grabbing his robe from a nearby chair, and hurdled toward his Master. Making sure not to touch Qui-Gon's skin, he pushed his apparently delirious Master toward the refresher. When they breached the plane of the fresher, Qui-Gon's pants dropped to his feet.

The site of his new Master's bare buttocks so close to him, caused Obi-Wan to stumble backward. The door knob caught in the arm of his robe and pulled the door closed with a loud BAM as he fell to the floor.

Obi-Wan settled his breathing as he pulled his comm. unit from his robe, which he then discarded in a laundry basket.

Thumbing the transmitter, he requested to be patched into healer's ward.

"_This is Master Healer Jintu. With whom am I speaking, please_?"

"Good evening, Master Jintu. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, new padawan to Master Qui-Gon Jinn. We have a situation here in our quarters."

"_What's has happened, Padawan Kenobi_?" the healer asked.

Obi-Wan explained the progression of Master Jinn's symptom.

"_I see_," the healer intoned with a curiously knowing tone. "_Where is Master Jinn now_?"

"He is in the 'fresher, Master Jintu. He hasn't spoken since I closed the door, but I can here some knocking around in there."

"_I think I know what we're dealing with, padawan_," the healer replied. "_Master Jinn must be very uncomfortable, almost to the point of madness." _

"He's mad alright," Obi-Wan added.

"_I'll send some healer associates to assist in getting Master Jinn to the ward. Sit tight, Kenobi. They will be there soon_."

When Qui-Gon entered the medical bay, he his pants were back in place and he was wrapped in a shimmer silk shawl. It was the only thing he would allow the healers to place on his shoulders. He was trembling, drawing heavily on the Force to try and keep the itching at bay.

"Master Jinn! At last!" exclaimed Healer Jintu as he rushed to Qui-Gon's side. "I believe you are suffering a parasite called Frizixr."

"Wonderful," the shirtless Jedi mumbled. "Sounds like a carbonated soda."

"It does, doesn't it," chuckled Healer Jintu. "But no, seriously, it's a microscopic epidermal glutton."

The healer laughed at this own joke. No one else did.

"What are you going to do about the little muncher, healer Jintu," Qui-Gon declared, starring at the healer through heavily lidded eyes.

There is only one cure, or death dealer for this little bugger," said Jintu. "Complete immersion into a bath of Calimino pulp. Fortunately, it can be synthesized into a gelatinous substance which tempers the side effects of the pure pulp."

Obi-Wan almost laughed out loud, though he knew the matter to be serious. "You're saying my Master has to take a jello bath?"

""That's right, Young one."

"And what are the side effects of the Calimino pulp?" the padawan continued.

The healer turned to Qui-Gon and said: "It will sting. A lot. With heavy intensity. All over your body."

The tall bearded Jedi Master sighed stoically. "Show me to the bath."

"It's right over here, Master Jinn," Healer Jintu said. "Follow me."

The healer led them to a raised tub with a two step ladder protruding from its side.

"This just gets better and better," Qui-Gon moaned. "Is this really how it has to be?"

"I'm afraid so, Master Jinn. This is the only tub we have which would allow for the Calimino gelatin.

He said both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's startled expressions.

"But not to fear, My Friends, the gelatin will only eat away the parasites; not your skin or the inside of the tub. I only meant that this was the only tub currently available."

The edge of Qui-Gon's mouth quirked. The exhausted Jedi Master just wanted the itching to stop. He didn't care that he was trading one pain for another. At least 'tongues of fire were easier to tolerate. "Let's get this over with."

Without preamble, he untied his pants, shrugged off the shawl, and took the two steps before hopping over the edge of the tub and submerging into the gelatin.

"Stang! A little warning, next time, Master. Twice in one day is too much!"

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and attempted to enter a meditative trance.

"If you learn nothing else from this experience, Padawan, remember this: There is nothing wrong, in and of itself, with being naked."

"Very comforting Master. My eyes will never recover."


End file.
